Hello Beautiful One,
A lot of times live can be overwhelming because we have been in the habit of saying yes in our early age of life. As young women, we learned from our parents or authority figures the best way to get along is to agree whether we want to or not. A lot of times, we fear being left out of the circle of our peers for saying no. And as a result we do what we really do not want to do! And sometimes to avoid being ostracized, we even disobey God.
Why do we fear and avoid refusing other's requests? I have asked myself and others many times why fear saying no!
Here are some of the answers:
"They might not like me."
"I might loose his love."
"I might make them angry by not going along with them."
"The other person might feel hurt."
"I feel obligated."
"I might feel guilty if I refuse."
"I might not get asked again."
A lot of us have gotten into the habit of agreeing, of going along with whatever others ask or demand, which becomes a hindrance for many. We hate to disappoint people, or see others as authorities to whom we dare not risking say no. We believe the opposite of what Romans 13:8 states, "Owe no man any thing, but love one another". Therefore, we make our own versions "We owe everyone who makes a request and is obligated never to refuse anyone anything." This is contrary to the Word of God.
If you are someone who never refuses anyone anything, it is going to take some courage, recognition and steps to learn to say no. Let's take a review. Do you find yourself being burdened with one or more of the following unwelcoming circumstances?
- Doing things you know, in your heart, which are contrary to God's will because you can't control your life.
- Putting up with inconvenient situations from friends and family.
- Spending hours on the phone with people who you can't get away from.
- Doing favors against your conscience. (e.g., "I know you won't mind doing this for me. Nobody will ever know.")
- Going to bed with people you are not married to because they want you to, though you know it's wrong.
- Accepting invitations you would like to refuse.
- Making up reasons to avoid tell people the truth in love.
We say yes and then start to feel guilty because we are putting up a false front or making a phony excuse which we are not speaking the truth in love. Or we become irritated and frustrated because we have lost control of our life and not giving it to God either.
Not learning to speak the truth in love has worked a lot of us into a pattern of living in which we are always saying to ourselves. "What you want does not matter, you have nothing to say about anything, you don't count, and your wishes, goals, preferences and desires are not worth any more than you are." No wonder, we have such a poor self-image! We are speaking it to ourselves.
Jesus left us an example that we should follow in His footsteps. He was certainly the Lamb of God who laid down His life in humble submission for sinners. But He was not a weakling, a push over, a spineless man or one who lacked a backbone to refuse requests. He taught us to say yes to the needy. But He didn't mean for us to go along with everyone about everything. We must learn not to give in just because we have not learned how to do anything else.
He wants us to remember that we are important, what we want does matter, we count, and whose we are makes us worth a whole lot more. Start today and reevaluate your yes. If they are contrary to the will of God, you must learn to say, "Emphatically No"
Monica Johnson
Founder of OneWordMovement Inc
email: monica@OneWordMovement.com
website: www.onewordmovement.com
contact # 763-MY.1.WORD or 763-691-9673
Winning with OneWord by Working Your OneWord!
